Those nine months were of course transformational, and not just in body. Slowly I got used to the idea of giving up some control over myself. Here are some pages from the sketchbook at 8 weeks and 12 weeks. But as personal growth, I called it my year of spirituality.
These are some pages at 38 weeks, when I took out some time to document what I was thinking:
Things that I will miss: People being nice.
“Are people being nice because they are, or because I’m pregnant?”
And that was practically the only thing I could think of! Here we are sitting in a Starbucks, only because they have decaf.
“Did not think these days would ever come! The last few empty days of our lives…so much has changed, not least my waddling walk!”
“But how did I keep my sanity through change? Being the sort of person who always fights against it, making transitions much harder than they have to be.”
“Well, I’m not proud of it…”
“Well, mainly it was the demanding project that kept me super occupied. The Vedanta podcasts were the most calming element of these turbulent times. And also Kindle in it’s many formats.”
“Of course there were surprises.
This amazing miraculous human body. Really I could bow down to the phenomena of it; if only I could bend.”
What really helped: Friends and family. Even the most misogynist of people, i.e. me, who would avoid human contact if she could, had to concede to this. Prashant, Indira, the brown boy, my sister and my nephew, and family friends 2π and Snehasis.
[Aside: I was reading Enchanted Objects by David Rose and thinking, we need new shapes for tangible technology. I really cannot keep drawing these “flat rectangular slabs of glass”. A fabulous and inspiring book if you’re interested in technology and design.]
Soo: “Even my (drawing) style is the same…you would think this transformation…”
The brown boy: “Hahaha…you have to work harder than that!”
And by the way, I went into labour less than 48 hours after drawing these pages!
Letters Home Part 1 | Letters Home Part 3